Do you know what phrase I hate the most? It is the same one which you have heard from countless people your whole life. It is the phrase of “Oh, If I can do it you can do it too!” or the even worse variation of “Well, if I can do it anyone can do it!”. Those phrases are complete and utter horse shit. Now, I am not saying you can do anything you put your mind to (within reason and the constructs of reality of course). What I am saying is that we are all individually unique and do not share the same setbacks, demons, and limitations. A person who is afraid of heights may have a goal to go skydiving and may be working towards it. Whereas someone with the same goal without that same fear, may just wake up one day and say “eh, fuck it, today seems like a nice day to jump out of a plane. I think I will purchase a Groupon and go Skydiving!”. Even though both of these people have the same goal, one person will have to put in a lot more effort to reach their goal whereas the other just has to search online, pick up the phone and call. Unfortunately, one of those people may never do it. It is incumbent upon you to face your fears and live uncomfortably in order to be the best version of you that you can be.
I’m going to tell you how I achieve my goals and you may not like it, but you may not like what I have to say. You may not like it because the answer is based in reality. Some people can’t handle the reality of things. Are you ready? All you need to do is three simple things. Just remember, just because it is simple does not mean it is easy. The first thing you need to do is set a clear and detailed goal. The second is to break it down into an actionable timeline. The third, and hardest pill to swallow for most, is constant and consistent action. That is it! I apologize if this is not what you wanted, but you need to know there is no magic bullet. There is no magic drug, flick of the light switch effort, or change in thought process that will allow you to effortlessly and flawlessly achieve your goals. In order to get the things you want in life, you must make yourself uncomfortable, invest your time, and dedicate yourself to making your dreams into reality. No one is going to give it to you. If you want it, you need to go for it. While doing the actions you want to do in order to achieve the goals you want, people may give their advice, or try to curtail your efforts. Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) had a great quote when it comes to something like this. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.” This is solid advice
Let’s take a second to address why people try to give you their advice, or try to curtail your efforts. If they are trying to give you advice, it may be for a few reasons. Reason one is they want you to succeed. Therefore, they will offer their best advice on what to do because they have been in that position before and know which path to take. Reason two is they want you to succeed BUT they have never done it themselves. Be weary of this advice. Although it may be well meaning, they may feel a little insecure that you are doing something that they have always wanted to do but haven’t so they are telling you what they know about the subject in an effort to mask their insecurity. Keep in mind that I could be wrong with all of this, it is just an opinion that I formed. Think of it though, would you take weight loss advice from someone who is massively obese? Would you take lessons on how to maintain a home from a person who lives in a van? For those people who will try to curtail your efforts, ask yourself this, would you take criticism from someone you would not take advice from? In the past I have found that the people who make fun of you for going after what you want or achieving the goal you have set for yourself, tend to all have one thing in common. The one thing they all have in common is that they tend to be pieces of shit. They will make fun of, tease, rag on, belittle you, and try to shit all over your parade. Then the second you achieve it, they will simultaneously resent you while acting like they knew you could do it all along. These are the type of people who are broken and the reason they do this is because seeing someone else being successful hurts them. It hurts them to see someone who is trying to better themselves, put themselves out there, and conquer their fears because they do not have the courage to. It is that simple. If something is happening that violates your comfort zone, you will do whatever you need to in order to bring everything back to the way it was. They do this because they have little control over their lives and themselves and this is the only way they can maintain it. To the people out there that do this. Fuck you.
When starting a new goal, or finishing one already in progress, what you need to do when setting a goal is to define it. Define it. Clearly write out who it is for (most likely you), what it is you are going for, where you need to be to achieve it, when you want to complete it, how you are going to do it, and why you want it. Please be as specific as you can when writing out the why. If you are feeling down and out, the why part of the goal can drive you. Personally, for my goals, I use GoalsOnTrack.com. It allows me to keep track of my progress, mini-goals (within the big one), and tasks that need to be done. You need to be able to manage and track it to ensure it gets done. Without clear and precise knowledge of where you are getting to, you will be lost. Personally, if I find that I clearly understand what the end result of any task or endeavor will be, it is much easier to find your way to completion. The previous parts of this paragraph are the easy things to do because it doesn’t involve much effort and can be done while sitting on the couch and watching TV. The hardest part of any goal, and the reason why so many fail at achieving them, is the constant and consistent action. In order to get anything achieved you have to put in the work to get it done. One must be ruthless at this stage of the goal achieving process. A lot of people give up when the going gets tough, and it is at this moment that you have to give it more.
I wish I had something easier to give you, but I do not. There is an acronym for this called S.M.A.R.T. Ensure your goals are Specific, Memorable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. One of my goals, besides the ones listed on this website, is to show you, the reader, that the road to success is windy, messy, and full of hardship. Just know that when you get there, you will be better for having taken the journey. At the very least you will have learned something and will hopefully have a good story to tell.